Back from the beach, back to life.

Went to the beach....nothing happened. Not that I'm complaining. When I say nothing happened, it's a good thing, as in I did nothing for 5 days. Layed on the beach, read 3 books, drank lots of margaritas. The way things have been lately, I definitely needed a bunch of nothing to happen.

But, alas, I am back to the real life of DC, and reality. I'm only working part-time at my job now. So, I have plenty of time to think about my life...

I've moved back into my apartment temporarily with Drew and Mandy. Things have been going well. Drew and I are still seeing each other...sort of. We're sorting out our lives and feelings and then we'll be set free again to examine what we want. This week we're just enjoying each other and trying not to worry about what will become of us once I am moved out.

I've gathered a bunch of boxes and they've been sitting on my kitchen table for about 2 weeks. It's not just the lazy Susan in me that doesn't want to pack. It's also knowing that once I pack those things, I will be packing up part of Drew and I.

I guess it's that I'm not sure about anything right now. And, when you're not sure, making major and also small decisions is very difficult. At the end of the week I'll be heading off to Ohio, and Drew will be in Italy. We'll have plenty of time to take stock, and decide if we still want to date, despite all thats happened. I know I have trouble letting go, but I know deep down inside there's still something left of this thing Drew and I have. Being impatient, I want the answers now, but only time will be able to tell.

Signs

Did you ever think the universe was trying to tell you something? Maybe it's just all the stuff I've been going through lately, but I swear I've been seeing the weirdest signs.

For instance, the other day, a car changed lanes into the lane in front of me. The license plate read NEVRSETL. And, last night, as I was driving home, I happened to see the word COURAGE spray painted on the side of a run-down building.

On top of that, I've been having very vivid dreams. Some of them are pretty easy to read, the others, as I have discovered from an online dream dictionary (insert mocking here) reveal I'm yearning for a change, and that I need courage to start something new in my life. I'm pretty sure anyone could read into these things in any way. And, I'm sure that most of these things have been around all along, and I just never noticed.

I've been looking for the answer to what to do with Drew and all this anger, fear, and love in so many people. But, in the end I know I have to find it within myself.

In the mood for some beach-ness..

Monday we leave for the beach. Mandy, Nate and I are heading down to South Carolina for some fun and relaxation...god knows, I need it.

We'll be staying with Nate's parents (or mooching off of Nate's parents fab beach house), for about 5 days. We're praying for some good weather, so Mandy can play in the ocean. I know I'll hear about it for a year if she doesn't get to play in the ocean!

Not looking forward to the 7 hour drive...but I guess free beach vacation is a pretty good reward once you get there.

Hard Times

The last couple weeks of my life have been very dramatic. And, for a girl that gets plenty of theatre in her life already, it's been a little much.

After a lot of discussion, crying, fighting, etc. Drew and I have decided to take a break. I've moved out of the apartment in Arlington and am currently staying with a friend on the Hill. It's been very hard, and I'm not really sure what will happen with the situation. At times I really think it's time for me to be completely on my own. And, yet we are still discussing the possibility of taking a step back and trying a more low-key relationship.

At any rate, I am moving. Actually, I should say, Mandy and I are moving. Granted, it's just a couple blocks away (the streets are alphabetical--we live off of Pollard, and we're moving to Stuart). It's a fab new house with 3 new roommates. Actually, for me it's 2 new roommates, the other two I've already lived with. Are you confused yet? I'm moving in with Nate, Karen, Nancy, and Mandy (you see, I've already lived with Nate and Mandy, on separate occasions). It's really a great place, and not too expensive either. Only 2 blocks from the Ballston metro...and a house...with a yard! So, Penny should be happy.

I guess only time will tell what will become of my relationship with Drew. I do need some time to myself to work things out, and I think moving out will bring me that space.